The Land Baron Andrew Banks

Even the Rain. Great. This movie was an amazing surprise to me, as I had mistakenly thought it was actually a documentary, only to realize my mistake when smooth as hell Gael Garcia Bernal showed up on screen. The movie deals with a film crew creating a movie of Christopher Columbus during an uprising in Bolivia due to government water control (the real life Cochabamba protests). The premise was really interesting to watch as the movie they were making began to mimic what was happening around them. Seeing Gael’s character unable to let go of the film and see what was happening around him was a great trip, while the shifting and growing of Luis Tosar’s was a bit predictable, but great none the less (also I couldn’t stop thinking he was the man in black, Titus Welliver, from Lost). I highly recommend this movie and will most likely re-watch this in the near future. Also, super impressive performance from Juan Carlos Aduviri. It was fun to watch the movie go over how good of an actor his character is, due to how great of an actor he really is in the movie. That sounds a bit confusing, but if you watch it (which you should) it will make more sense and less “OH COOL FOURTH WALL STUFF”.

Dirty Girl. Worse than a Kevin James movie. Let me legitimize that statement, as it’s a rather serious accusation. This movie had so much potential for witty jokes, akward social situations, and just overall depravity. None of it had any follow through. It was like watching Daryl Strawberry’s career, something great just thrown to the dogs. The trailers for this sold it as a mildly quirky, offensive, coming of age comedy; when, in reality, it was as if it was written by someone scared of being offensive, quirky, or showing people coming of age. The movie is unbelievably predictable (it ends EXACTLY how you think it will) and Dwight Yoakam was not awesome or hilarious in it (it should be a felony to portray Dwight Yoakam as anything but awesome or hilarious). I watched at least 30 minutes of this using fast forward and it still took too long to get through. The only good part of the movie was the repeated shots of Juno Temple’s ass (which is top fucking notch), but honestly 10 minutes on google images will save you having to sit through this overall shit fest. Do not bother watching this, go watch repeats of New Girl instead.

21 Jump Street. Great. The endless debate of whether or not skinny Jonah Hill would be funny is finally over. This movie is hilarious, even Channing Tatum is great in it. I won’t spoil this, but the ending is fucking incredible, and is definitely worth watching. Also, bonus to Ron Swanson (with a great aside to the repetition and regurgitation in Hollywood, while starring in a remake of an 80’s show) and Johnny Depp cameos.

Freakonomics. Better than a Kevin James movie. This movie had a great description as far as hidden statistics, however I don’t think it really lived up to what it could have been. The segment on the naming of children was really interesting, as was the paying of the at risk high school students, but most of it was kind of dumbed down. It’s worth watching, but the majority of it is these short, “PR” segments on experiments they were running, or short blips about rather mundane statistics (the opener is a good example of this dealing with real estate agent pricing motivation).

Since I rarely ever post anything on here, and I watch far too many movies, I’m going to start using this as a way to keep track of what I’ve seen and to review the movies. The reviews will be short, sweet, and to the point. A simple system:  Great (Self Explanatory), Better than a Kevin James movie (Self explanatory, not great), and Worse than a Kevin James movie. 

13 Assasins. Great. Filmed amazingly, very graphic both in violence and the depravity of  Lord Matsudaira Naritsugu (there’s a scene with an armless, legless, naked woman that has no tongue and paints “Total Massacre” with her mouth). The fight scenes are unreal to say the least, especially the final scene that has to be one of the longest ones I’ve ever seen. I would gladly recommend this to someone.

Micheal Jackson?

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